2-0

Twenty days from today I move home for good.

Set a goal.
Obtained it.
Journey almost complete.
Un-frickin'-believable.

I was the first in my class to pass the practice board exam, written by our school, a graduation requirement. People are pretty stressed about that test. The school writes it harder than the actual national board exam so passing it is purposefully difficult in over-preparation for the real deal.

I did it first.
You read that right.
FIRST.
Shazam!

After graduation I need to find a job to complete my apprenticeship, which in our field is a paid position. The funeral home I've worked for nearly two years says its not in the budget. :sigh: I'm going to take a few months off regardless to just be "mom" again for a bit so I've got a few minutes until I have to worry about resumes, interviews, fear of rejection, stress.

My weight.
Ugh.
My weight.

While the scale says some days I've gained no weight and at a max, a 5 lb weight gain over the course of this past year, I'm fat again. Myself in the mirror, woah. I'm out of shape. I feel like a pud. I hate the way I look in clothes. I try not to look at myself out of clothes. I wish I was able to feel better about my physical self at graduation but alas, it ain't gonna happen. I'm going to have to rely solely on my mental satisfaction to shine through that dress at graduation, hopefully shining right through all that adipose tissue (AKA fat) on my arms & thighs in pictures.

Nothing I can do about it at the moment.
So for now... we celebrate.