Garth just informed me that in a week my birthday will be over.
What I heard was that in less than a week I'll be 35.
Nooooooooooooooooo.
I distinctly remember feeling melancholy when I turned 25. I was excited to finally be in my mid-20's, perhaps to be taken a little more seriously by people older than myself but dang, I was turning 25. That year didn't prove to be too shabby however - I met Garth when I was 25.I recall anticipating my 30th birthday as it loomed near. I really didn't want to turn 30 even though I had a husband already in his mid-30's and life for him didn't seem too terribly dismal.
Now standing on the edge of turning 35, I look onward with a sense of confidence mixed with dread. I don't want to get old. More accurately, I don't want to look old. I see the telltale signs that I'm getting older. In the past year I've developed some age spots on my face (that I want taken care of), the 2 concentrated thought/frown lines in my forehead are getting deeper (I'd like to have them taken care of too) and a newly discovered wrinkle near my mouth scares me (yes, I'd like to have that taken care of as well). My hands are looking aged, my skin is not as taunt (minus what my fabulous plastic surgeon helped me out with earlier this year) and my arms have somehow managed to grow bat wings. I suspect I have a few anti-aging procedures in my future as I'm not going to take this aging thing sitting down. I protest!
On the flip side, turning 35 has brought me some positives as well. I know who I am (for the most part - I'm a work in progress), I have self confidence almost to the roof (not quite through it but I'm getting there) and I firmly know what I believe & what I don't. I have values that are no longer simple mirror reflections of my parents. I've grown & maintained 4 living human beings who are so far decent, caring individuals and have somehow managed to stay married to the same person for 8+ years now. I'm far from perfect but that's not too bad.
This morning I googled "life after 35" as I sipped my coffee, still praying these wonderful breasteses stay large & beautiful, and was hoping to find some encouragement. While I did find that my sex life is supposed to suddenly skyrocket, my chance of stroke is going to go up next week and if I choose to have another baby, I'm suddenly considered a higher risk with my 'advanced maternal age'. Good thing I'm done having babies. Whew.
According to world life expectancy research, I'm already more than half way through my life. But by living in the good 'ol US of A, I'm supposed to live a bit longer so I'm only nearing the half way point, barring any early catastrophe. Either way you look at it, I'm about half dead. Half way to the earth friendly EcoPod casket and larger-than-life monumental headstone I desire (I'm serious about both those things, by the way).
Time just keeps marching on whether I choose to embrace it or protest so bring on 35. Damn it.
2 comments:
Please take no offense to the birthday card I mailed to you today.......... :)
I know the feeling. I turn 35 next month, how can that be?? How did we ever get this old,LOL!! But my dh will always be older which makes me feel better since he is already in his 40's and still kickin'!
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