if you've reached out to me
yet feel i'm ignoring you,
please don't take it personal.
it's not.
i just can't talk.
or don't want to.
no, i just can't.
i don't have it in me.
i.just.can't.

oddly i've found comfort in words from people
i never expected to turn to.
others i thought i'd turn to
i find myself quickly turning away from
something in me just can't
face them
face me
i.just.can't.

fuck diet & exercise.
more people need the separation weight loss plan.
i haven't weighed this weight in months, almost years.
at this rate i should hit my goal weight by uhhh... like next week sometime.

the kids are fine.
our house is running fine.
things that need to get done are getting done.
other things, they wait.

my emotions are a constant cycle in motion.

one minute:
the very next moment:
lather, rinse, repeat.
over and over and over and over again....
every few minutes i have to remind myself to breathe
or i think i'd simply forget to.