I was wrong.

I have been an angry person for so many years. This year I decided I would reflect on those things, be honest with myself and fix what was fixable.

For too many years I've blamed everyone else for my unhappiness. It wasn't their fault, it was mine.

A few months ago I mistakenly decided in seeking happiness I had to turn my back on the love of my life, blaming him for my unhappiness.

I was wrong.

I want my husband back. I want my family whole. I want to fix this and make these past few months be a stepping stone for goodness. I don't want to move backward, only forward.

I want to still better myself. I want to still work, still go to school, still be the best mom I can be. But there's something new I desperately want to try. To be a good wife. I never gave it my all. I always held back, angry, not wanting to be vulnerable. I wasn't giving, I wasn't loving, I was very unfair with my words, my actions, my love. I was wrong. I see that crystal clear now.

I miss my Garth. I miss my husband. I miss my best friend.
I pray its not too late to rediscover the genuine love, companionship & romance we've both had inside ourselves for one another, too angry & stubborn to show each other anymore.

Please pray he finds it in him to want this too.

Garth, I love & miss you and have never been more sure of anything in my entire life - I want this. I want us. I was wrong. Please help me fix us, forever. You are not only the father of my children but my best friend, my entire life. I want to rediscover those things that made us fall in love, let go of all the bullshit and laugh again with you. I never want to hurt you again. I will do anything to prove how serious I am about rebuilding, growing and making this work, both healthy and happy. I love you - M.