I had some epiphanies while driving today during a snowstorm. You know, the exact time I should be soul searching... ;)
Reduce:
I realized today that no longer do I feel that I can lose 50 lbs but that, by dang, I am losing 50 lbs. No more "I can do it!", its now become, "I AM DOING IT!!" It brought tears to my eyes the level of commitment I feel, a level much higher than my brain has ever wrapped itself around before. This is it. It's actually happening. Yay me! :D
Reuse:
Chico bags, cloth diapers, cloth napkins, diva cups, less paper towels, using cloth kitchen linens, recycling, hand-me-down clothes, giving more, selling less, helping others, donating time, carpooling, clotheslines, gardening, buying locally (supporting "the little guy"), steering away from products that contain the word disposable in either their title, description or use, buying & driving more earth-responsible vehicles, earth-friendly cleaning supplies, eating less processed foods, purposefully using less water, energy & resources, teaching your children to live this way (!!!) -- these little things can add up to such empowerment to ones soul. If you haven't given any of the above any though, please try. The earth will not only love you for it but it does your heart & body good as well. I try really hard to live earth friendly and vow 2008 will only be better. It feels so good to give back. It feels so good to live responsibly. It feels so good to encircle yourself with others who feel and try to live the same way. We need more "feel goods" in this world.
Recycle:
In recent years, I've slowly realized I've become somewhat of a friend recycler. I truly don't know if that's a good or bad trait to harbor (I honestly secretly don't care, shhh). When something doesn't feel quite right, I hear or feel it and 9 times out of 10, I listen to my gut. The other 1 out of 10 times, I usually end up feeling like I wished I had. I shy/run away from friendships/people that just don't set right. It's not disagreements with others that make me feel this way - I'm a-ok not always agreeing with someone! It's not like "you do one thing that pisses me off & you're outta here!" type of thing at all. But you know that nagging feeling that someone is draining you, or truly doesn't appreciate you or the friendship feels so one-sided ... you know you've all known someone who gave you one of those feelings before! It's only through time, disappointment & personal experience that one learns that it's ok to have just a handful of solid & true friendships. True friendships are something to be cherished, not hoarded, and I simply don't have the time, energy or interest in collecting friends. Long term friendships are something you don't have to constantly question, analyze or ponder, you just know. Not everyone is going to like me (hard & true realization, isn't it?) but by that same token, it gives me permission to admit that I don't particularly like everyone either. I don't have to be friends with everyone I meet -- I'm allowed to selfishly pick & choose who encircles me (what an awesome gift to oneself!). Like a handy plastic water bottle, its ok to thank someone for the gift of temporary nourishment, then gently put them in the recycle bin so that someday someone else can enjoy them too...maybe in a slightly different or better (eeek, or worse?) form because knowing me changed them somehow. I can't save the world or everyone in it and its ok to sometimes give yourself permission & a gentle but firm reminder to stop trying. It's about quality, not quantity. Recycling is good for all.
We should all try to not only be earth friendly with the 3 R's but learn to be self-friendly too. If you don't love yourself, for the love of Pete, who will?! :P
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
All I want for Christmas.
Or could also be titled, "What I wish for in 2008" since it isn't actually going to happen before/for Christmas. ;)
Things I'd like:
1) a continued, yet even stronger, faith & walk with Jesus
2) to be healthy, fit & weigh less than 140 lbs.
3) to be mentally stronger & have more patience
4) to garden & make salsa and can lots this fall
5) to sell our house
6) to build our new one
7) to have a barn & garage attached to said new house
8) and an in-ground pool
9) and large fenced-in garden off to the side
10) and a circle driveway
11) with my beloved flag pole in the center of the driveway island.
12) to purchase my 2 pet goats, Diva & Chauncey
13) and to purchase their companions - the 5 yet unnamed hens
14) not meaning to be so far down the list but I got carried away with the house plans, continued health & happiness for my family
15) further growth, security & contentment in my marriage
16) more willpower to spend less
17) more willpower to eat less
18) a few massages, facials, pedicures & shopping excursions thrown in for good measure
19) continued & strengthened friendships
20) the ability to change the things i can & accept the things i cannot.
Good Day! :)
Things I'd like:
1) a continued, yet even stronger, faith & walk with Jesus
2) to be healthy, fit & weigh less than 140 lbs.
3) to be mentally stronger & have more patience
4) to garden & make salsa and can lots this fall
5) to sell our house
6) to build our new one
7) to have a barn & garage attached to said new house
8) and an in-ground pool
9) and large fenced-in garden off to the side
10) and a circle driveway
11) with my beloved flag pole in the center of the driveway island.
12) to purchase my 2 pet goats, Diva & Chauncey
13) and to purchase their companions - the 5 yet unnamed hens
14) not meaning to be so far down the list but I got carried away with the house plans, continued health & happiness for my family
15) further growth, security & contentment in my marriage
16) more willpower to spend less
17) more willpower to eat less
18) a few massages, facials, pedicures & shopping excursions thrown in for good measure
19) continued & strengthened friendships
20) the ability to change the things i can & accept the things i cannot.
Good Day! :)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
It's ok baby, mama's here.
I hear a baby crying in my head again. A few weeks after J was born 6+ years ago, I started hearing a baby crying in my head. It was so realistic that I'd, more than once, get out of bed to check on him, just to find him fast asleep. Back to bed, or whatever activity I was doing, and I'd clearly hear it again. Annoying as hell. But so very real all the same.
It happened after W was born too. I finally asked my doctor about it and he said its stress related. Ok but its still unnerving and annoying. I'm hearing voices....
I've heard this baby again & again throughout the past 6+ years but not all that often. Usually when I'm particularly stressed or super tired.
Last night I was awoken by either a very rapid succession of gunfire or fireworks at 1 am. The neighbors dog started barking and having grown up in a not-so-great neighborhood, I know what gunshots sound like. This didn't sound very firework'sy. Garth was away on a business trip and I'm thinking "round up the kids & hit the floor". Not the most relaxing of situations.
Of course that wakes up the (real) baby and I'm up with her for the next 2.5 hours. Ugh.
I finally get her back to sleep right next to me. I'll be damned if I didn't have to reach over and touch her and see with my own eyes that her eyes were closed and her mouth was not moving in any crying fashion but I clearly heard a baby crying. Loud and relentless.
I rolled over, groaned and thought, "GO TO SLEEP!" to both the stupid crying baby in my head and to myself.
I think I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. Life, the holidays, PMS, E not sleeping through the night anymore, feeling pulled in 1000 directions.... I need a break. A massage, a facial, a vacation, a something.
PLEASE go to sleep crying baby in my head, mama needs a break.
It happened after W was born too. I finally asked my doctor about it and he said its stress related. Ok but its still unnerving and annoying. I'm hearing voices....
I've heard this baby again & again throughout the past 6+ years but not all that often. Usually when I'm particularly stressed or super tired.
Last night I was awoken by either a very rapid succession of gunfire or fireworks at 1 am. The neighbors dog started barking and having grown up in a not-so-great neighborhood, I know what gunshots sound like. This didn't sound very firework'sy. Garth was away on a business trip and I'm thinking "round up the kids & hit the floor". Not the most relaxing of situations.
Of course that wakes up the (real) baby and I'm up with her for the next 2.5 hours. Ugh.
I finally get her back to sleep right next to me. I'll be damned if I didn't have to reach over and touch her and see with my own eyes that her eyes were closed and her mouth was not moving in any crying fashion but I clearly heard a baby crying. Loud and relentless.
I rolled over, groaned and thought, "GO TO SLEEP!" to both the stupid crying baby in my head and to myself.
I think I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. Life, the holidays, PMS, E not sleeping through the night anymore, feeling pulled in 1000 directions.... I need a break. A massage, a facial, a vacation, a something.
PLEASE go to sleep crying baby in my head, mama needs a break.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
PSA for the day.
*** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT ***
there was a woman staring at me at the gym this morning.
here i was concentrating on getting down my yoga pose during my warm up, keeping my knees straight, my belly in, my butt & chest out and i could feel her eyes beating down on me.
like she stopped working out and was just sitting there staring at me.
no, it wasn't in my head.
we'd locked eyes when I was doing my lunges a few minutes earlier & here she was still watching me.
paranoia sets in.
am i doing this all wrong?
do i look like an idiot?
or wait..
i know.
she thinks i'm hot.
ok, its not that. i'm already a sweaty mess.
people shouldn't stare at other people at the gym.
it's not nice.
it makes others feel funny.
not funny ha ha funny.
paranoia creepy funny.
please don't do it.
*** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT ***
Monday, December 10, 2007
Anyone seen my ass?
I worked my ass off at the gym today. An hour & 40 minutes of it.
I, with the awesome help of my trainer, am using muscles my body has forgotten I had.
She said 6 months of working hard & eating right and I'll be in tip top college pom team form again.
Stand back.
:)
I, with the awesome help of my trainer, am using muscles my body has forgotten I had.
She said 6 months of working hard & eating right and I'll be in tip top college pom team form again.
Stand back.
:)
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Oh sweet baby W, oh how I adore thee.
Happy 5th Birthday, sweet baby W.
Words can't match the joy you've brought into our lives.
Your laughter is contagious, your smile gets you out of trouble,
and those big blue almond-shaped eyes melt your mama's heart.
Happy 5th Birthday, my sweet angel -
I can only hope your special day is half as sweet as you.
Friday, December 7, 2007
self worth. come back to me.
last night, i had a light bulb moment.
i was honest-to-God struck at how "duhhhhhhhhh" it felt.
i stepped on the scale and had lost a pound over it.
my stress & burden & anxiety & hatred (yes, hatred) & sadness & blah blah blah that i've felt for almost 9 years weighed ONE POUND.
all these years I was so "victimized" by my SIL not liking me.
I was so so so SO very hurt by it.
i've always felt she never took the bother to get to know me and made a snap judgement immediatly after meeting me that she's carried all these years against me. and man, did it hurt. i'm honestly not used to that. i'm a freakin' likeable girl! ;)
suddenly last night, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
for the first time in almost 9 years, I spoke to my SIL. yeah yeah we'd exchange superficial nicities throughout the years but they were fake as shit. for my falling-apart-over-it MILs sake, not her own, she wanted to make peace.
gee ... umm ... thanks?
i did get in that she doesn't know me. if she's looking down on me for things i did in my early & mid 20's, shit *I* look down on myself for a lot of them. I'm in my mid-30's now!! I've evolved, grown, matured, LEARNED, lived life and since then, MADE MORE MISTAKES!! I asked her if she even knew what political party I campaign for. ;)
obviously finding it necessary, she said AGAIN yesterday she didn't like me and we'd never be friends.
dude. true or not, thats F&*king MEAN to say to another person.
she said yesterday that she honestly didn't care if she'd repeatedly hurt my feelings over the years and that she'd never apologize because she wasn't sorry she'd said them.
dude. true or not, thats F&*king MEAN to say to another person.
she fully blames the people who repeated them to me, not the mouth they originated from.
let's all take a moment, pause and then close your gaping mouths.
all these years, i was hurt and she was totally ok with my hurt, in fact, she was actually annoyed by it, felt no need to explain herself and though crushed by it, I played along.
WTF was i thinking?
my moment?
WHY THE HELL DO I CARE IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME?!
WHY THE HELL AM I SO HUNG UP ON HER NOT WANTING TO BE MY FRIEND?
SHE'S NOT SOMEONE *I* WANT TO BEFRIEND!
self-worth come back to me... its been awhile but i'm still here.
duh to me.
oh f&*king duh to me.
my attitude has changed.
i can make peace. I WANT TO MAKE PEACE. i can be civil.
not for MILs sake.
not for SILs sake.
not for my husbands sake.
FOR MY SAKE.
she didn't like the 2 women in Garth's life before me. it wouldn't have mattered what i came into her life offering, she was SEEKING & LOOKING for PERMISSION not to like me!!!!
duh Marissa. oh f&*king duh. @@
i'm slow to the punch line - its been almost 9 years and its just now hitting me.
i need some omega 3's for brain power i think.
At her first opportunity to dislike me, she grabbed it and ran.
IT'S NOT ME!!!
IT'S HER!!!
I called my mom, rehashed it all and asked her why all these years I've cared. She said its because I treat others as I'd like to be treated and not everyone subscribes to that thought unfortunately.
dude. i feel sorry for people who missed the boat on that one. what an ugly way to live.
She said she was not only proud of me for finally standing up for myself and not letting SIL knock me around anymore verbally or emotionally but get this:
she was proud of me for rolling with the punches.
she was proud of me for keeping my mouth shut all these years, knowing how hard it was to do so, but doing out of respect for my husband, his family and for myself.
she was proud of me. period.
having made some "stellar" life-changing choices in my early 20's, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to feeling proud of myself, or hearing that others are proud of me.
she is proud of the mother i've ALWAYS been.
she is proud of the person i am.
she is proud of the type of friend i am.
she is proud of the values i hold dear.
she is proud of how i treat other people.
my mother is proud of me.
period.
yes i know i'm rambling but i have to get it all out and be done with it so i can put it in a pretty box in my head and tie it up TIGHTLY with a bow and put it VERY HIGH up on a mental shelf....
the conversation with my SIL made me realize i dont WANT to be this woman's friend, i would have NEVER measured up to her and biggest & best of all, that thats not on ME, thats on HER.
I am almost laughing at my stupidity over being hurt that she didn't like me.
Fact be known, I DON'T LIKE HER! She sure as shit has never given me anything to work with either.
must get brain in proper working order.
(mentally putting that on my to-do list, right at the top)
GOD put me on the path of struggles so i could one day handle phone calls like yesterday and have the proper words to dish right back to my SIL without ever once raising my voice. Best of all God has given me the ability TO FORGIVE HER FOR HER TRANSGRESSIONS even if she's not sorry, and to mentally keep moving forward.
EVERYONE is put in your path for a reason -- perhaps SILs SOLE reason for being in my life is so I could painfully see first-hand how NOT to treat people. EVER. that is reason enough for me.
my mother is proud of me.
that means more to me than any of this novel typed above could ever express or any hurt SIL could EVER inflict upon me.
at the end of the conversation, SIL & I loosely made peace. that felt good. i'll never conquer the woman nor get through to her NOR be able to reach her up on that very high horse and you know what?
THAT'S OK!
I AM SO DONE WITH THAT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE & IT FEELS AWESOME!
Delusional bitch be damned, I've seen the light!!! :D
i was honest-to-God struck at how "duhhhhhhhhh" it felt.
i stepped on the scale and had lost a pound over it.
my stress & burden & anxiety & hatred (yes, hatred) & sadness & blah blah blah that i've felt for almost 9 years weighed ONE POUND.
all these years I was so "victimized" by my SIL not liking me.
I was so so so SO very hurt by it.
i've always felt she never took the bother to get to know me and made a snap judgement immediatly after meeting me that she's carried all these years against me. and man, did it hurt. i'm honestly not used to that. i'm a freakin' likeable girl! ;)
suddenly last night, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
for the first time in almost 9 years, I spoke to my SIL. yeah yeah we'd exchange superficial nicities throughout the years but they were fake as shit. for my falling-apart-over-it MILs sake, not her own, she wanted to make peace.
gee ... umm ... thanks?
i did get in that she doesn't know me. if she's looking down on me for things i did in my early & mid 20's, shit *I* look down on myself for a lot of them. I'm in my mid-30's now!! I've evolved, grown, matured, LEARNED, lived life and since then, MADE MORE MISTAKES!! I asked her if she even knew what political party I campaign for. ;)
obviously finding it necessary, she said AGAIN yesterday she didn't like me and we'd never be friends.
dude. true or not, thats F&*king MEAN to say to another person.
she said yesterday that she honestly didn't care if she'd repeatedly hurt my feelings over the years and that she'd never apologize because she wasn't sorry she'd said them.
dude. true or not, thats F&*king MEAN to say to another person.
she fully blames the people who repeated them to me, not the mouth they originated from.
let's all take a moment, pause and then close your gaping mouths.
all these years, i was hurt and she was totally ok with my hurt, in fact, she was actually annoyed by it, felt no need to explain herself and though crushed by it, I played along.
WTF was i thinking?
my moment?
WHY THE HELL DO I CARE IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME?!
WHY THE HELL AM I SO HUNG UP ON HER NOT WANTING TO BE MY FRIEND?
SHE'S NOT SOMEONE *I* WANT TO BEFRIEND!
self-worth come back to me... its been awhile but i'm still here.
duh to me.
oh f&*king duh to me.
my attitude has changed.
i can make peace. I WANT TO MAKE PEACE. i can be civil.
not for MILs sake.
not for SILs sake.
not for my husbands sake.
FOR MY SAKE.
she didn't like the 2 women in Garth's life before me. it wouldn't have mattered what i came into her life offering, she was SEEKING & LOOKING for PERMISSION not to like me!!!!
duh Marissa. oh f&*king duh. @@
i'm slow to the punch line - its been almost 9 years and its just now hitting me.
i need some omega 3's for brain power i think.
At her first opportunity to dislike me, she grabbed it and ran.
IT'S NOT ME!!!
IT'S HER!!!
I called my mom, rehashed it all and asked her why all these years I've cared. She said its because I treat others as I'd like to be treated and not everyone subscribes to that thought unfortunately.
dude. i feel sorry for people who missed the boat on that one. what an ugly way to live.
She said she was not only proud of me for finally standing up for myself and not letting SIL knock me around anymore verbally or emotionally but get this:
she was proud of me for rolling with the punches.
she was proud of me for keeping my mouth shut all these years, knowing how hard it was to do so, but doing out of respect for my husband, his family and for myself.
she was proud of me. period.
having made some "stellar" life-changing choices in my early 20's, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to feeling proud of myself, or hearing that others are proud of me.
she is proud of the mother i've ALWAYS been.
she is proud of the person i am.
she is proud of the type of friend i am.
she is proud of the values i hold dear.
she is proud of how i treat other people.
my mother is proud of me.
period.
yes i know i'm rambling but i have to get it all out and be done with it so i can put it in a pretty box in my head and tie it up TIGHTLY with a bow and put it VERY HIGH up on a mental shelf....
the conversation with my SIL made me realize i dont WANT to be this woman's friend, i would have NEVER measured up to her and biggest & best of all, that thats not on ME, thats on HER.
I am almost laughing at my stupidity over being hurt that she didn't like me.
Fact be known, I DON'T LIKE HER! She sure as shit has never given me anything to work with either.
must get brain in proper working order.
(mentally putting that on my to-do list, right at the top)
GOD put me on the path of struggles so i could one day handle phone calls like yesterday and have the proper words to dish right back to my SIL without ever once raising my voice. Best of all God has given me the ability TO FORGIVE HER FOR HER TRANSGRESSIONS even if she's not sorry, and to mentally keep moving forward.
EVERYONE is put in your path for a reason -- perhaps SILs SOLE reason for being in my life is so I could painfully see first-hand how NOT to treat people. EVER. that is reason enough for me.
my mother is proud of me.
that means more to me than any of this novel typed above could ever express or any hurt SIL could EVER inflict upon me.
at the end of the conversation, SIL & I loosely made peace. that felt good. i'll never conquer the woman nor get through to her NOR be able to reach her up on that very high horse and you know what?
THAT'S OK!
I AM SO DONE WITH THAT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE & IT FEELS AWESOME!
Delusional bitch be damned, I've seen the light!!! :D
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
i'm sore. ouch.
I'm sore today. ouch.
I talked to my MIL on the phone yesterday for 2.5 hours. It quite possibly might be the longest conversation I've ever had with the woman. While she cried for a majority of it, it was also one of the best conversations we've ever had. She wasn't crying over me, by the way, in case you're wondering. whew!
Garth & I and the kids put up the Christmas tree last night. We got the tree up, the stockings up, some lights up and about 1/3 of the ornaments before we had to call it a night. The kids will finish decorating it tonite. It's going to be a real joy keeping E away from the ornaments this year - she's far worse than the cat!!
I've always said that I handle big changes & large stressors much better than I handle day to day stress. It couldn't be more true right now. I have a dozen or so little stresses going on in my head that seriously, are making day to day living difficult for me. My mind just races from little issue to little issue and because a lot of the things are beyond my control, all it seems I can do is worry about them, not fix them. ugh. A big thank you to my happy pills that have been making me sleep very well each night. I don't know where I'd be without them. Habit forming be damned.
My 3rd sons 5th birthday is this weekend. I cannot, simply cannot, believe W will be 5 years old. He has brought so much joy, humor, mischief, laughter and love into our family in such a relatively short amount of time. I cannot imagine life without him. Everyone says he's my favorite but its not true -- he just makes me laugh like no one else in my life has the ability to and laughter is so good for my soul. For that I'll forever be indebted to the little shit. :)
I talked to my MIL on the phone yesterday for 2.5 hours. It quite possibly might be the longest conversation I've ever had with the woman. While she cried for a majority of it, it was also one of the best conversations we've ever had. She wasn't crying over me, by the way, in case you're wondering. whew!
Garth & I and the kids put up the Christmas tree last night. We got the tree up, the stockings up, some lights up and about 1/3 of the ornaments before we had to call it a night. The kids will finish decorating it tonite. It's going to be a real joy keeping E away from the ornaments this year - she's far worse than the cat!!
I've always said that I handle big changes & large stressors much better than I handle day to day stress. It couldn't be more true right now. I have a dozen or so little stresses going on in my head that seriously, are making day to day living difficult for me. My mind just races from little issue to little issue and because a lot of the things are beyond my control, all it seems I can do is worry about them, not fix them. ugh. A big thank you to my happy pills that have been making me sleep very well each night. I don't know where I'd be without them. Habit forming be damned.
My 3rd sons 5th birthday is this weekend. I cannot, simply cannot, believe W will be 5 years old. He has brought so much joy, humor, mischief, laughter and love into our family in such a relatively short amount of time. I cannot imagine life without him. Everyone says he's my favorite but its not true -- he just makes me laugh like no one else in my life has the ability to and laughter is so good for my soul. For that I'll forever be indebted to the little shit. :)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
A day of few words.
I don't have a lot to say today. That's unusual.
I started with my trainer at the gym today. I wonder if she thinks my fat ass is a lost cause.
She discovered my hips are off from each other by about 3 inches and is pretty concerned about it.
She thinks the pain that has went mysteriously undiagnosed this fall by doctors, lab work, multiple MRIs, an EMG & a neurologist is actually something quite simple to fix. Funny she knew immediately what I was talking about and NONE of the above mentioned medical professionals had a clue what I was even referring to -- could have saved myself a few thousand dollars a few months back. nice.
I'm working hard. I'm so determined. I just wish it was a little bit easier mentally. The physical stuff I can do and will... the mental part is plain torture.
Off to down some lemon flavored cod liver oil. Yum! My trainer said she's quite sure with all the multiple, consecutive pregnancies my body is pretty depleted of omega 3's and I need to start consuming foods rich in omega 3's plus a teaspoon of cod liver oil each day. Oh joy. But hey, whatever helps.
She really did work my bum off today - as you can see in the pics:
Wow, keep up the great work, Marissa!!! ;)
I started with my trainer at the gym today. I wonder if she thinks my fat ass is a lost cause.
She discovered my hips are off from each other by about 3 inches and is pretty concerned about it.
She thinks the pain that has went mysteriously undiagnosed this fall by doctors, lab work, multiple MRIs, an EMG & a neurologist is actually something quite simple to fix. Funny she knew immediately what I was talking about and NONE of the above mentioned medical professionals had a clue what I was even referring to -- could have saved myself a few thousand dollars a few months back. nice.
I'm working hard. I'm so determined. I just wish it was a little bit easier mentally. The physical stuff I can do and will... the mental part is plain torture.
Off to down some lemon flavored cod liver oil. Yum! My trainer said she's quite sure with all the multiple, consecutive pregnancies my body is pretty depleted of omega 3's and I need to start consuming foods rich in omega 3's plus a teaspoon of cod liver oil each day. Oh joy. But hey, whatever helps.
She really did work my bum off today - as you can see in the pics:
On my drive to the gym:
After my 1st training session:
Wow, keep up the great work, Marissa!!! ;)
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Pennies From Heaven.
This was not written by me but struck a cord in me so deep that today its my blog entry:
Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.
As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?
Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value. A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?'
"Look at it", he said. "Read what it says."
She read the words 'United States of America''
"No, not that; read further.''
"One cent?"
"No, keep reading."
"'In God we Trust?"
"'Yes!"
"And?''
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"
When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, 'In God We Trust,' and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.
Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.
As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?
Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value. A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?'
"Look at it", he said. "Read what it says."
She read the words 'United States of America''
"No, not that; read further.''
"One cent?"
"No, keep reading."
"'In God we Trust?"
"'Yes!"
"And?''
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"
When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, 'In God We Trust,' and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.
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