Fall term '09 is officially

OVER.

I actually, surprisingly, feel some sense of letdown.
What the hell am I going to do with myself now?!

Yes Garth, laundry & cleaning & all the other things that have fallen by the wayside thanks to school. Yes yes, I know honey.

It's finals week.

The end of the term.
It's finally here.
It couldn't have come soon enough for me.

All papers now complete & turned in.
Electronically submitted my last paper 5 minutes ago.
Nothing like waiting 'til the 11th hour.

Two exams remain.
Both tomorrow.
Fingers crossed.

I need a vacation.

rip 'yer hair out busy.

I keep reminding myself I can do this because I AM doing this.

My brain is bursting at its seams. I'm not sure my skull can hold it all. It's the final 2 weeks of school. Lab reports due, a chemistry assignment due, a take home quiz is due as well as four papers this week.

I keep reminding myself I can do this because I AM doing this.

I have one more lab, two more lectures and two final exams. Two finals I have even yet to begin studying for. I haven't had time!

I need this term to be over. My brain, nor morale, can take much more. I cannot believe I took these two overly-informative-for-just-one-term classes in the same semester. I had no choice and as I reflect I'm reminded the next four terms are not only not going to be better, but more challenging.

I keep reminding myself I can do this because I AM doing this.

I keep pushing forward at work, working whenever they ask, even if I have a paper due the next day. I want to be the one they refuse to let get away once mortuary school is complete. I cannot express how much I love my job and the company I work for. I fit in. I've rarely fit in places in my life and I fill a part of my soul there that I've never filled before. It means that much to me.

I keep reminding myself I can do this because I AM doing this.


“You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make.” -Gorden B. Hinkley

Hey Dad...

So I know hearing I received a 59% on Unit 2 in Cellular Biology wasn't your proudest moment...

How does a 93% for Unit 3 sound?

I astound even myself sometimes.

My dad wants me to update my blog. He said there's no way I can just leave him hanging with a 'yay, i failed an exam...' entry.

So Dad, I'm currently at an 85% in Cellular Biology even with that atrocious exam score and have a solid 4.0 in Religion. Happy?

Love,
Your
'I really am smart even though I totally bomb exams sometimes'
favorite daughter

yesssssssss!!!!

A computer calculating error changed my Biology exam II grade from a 56% to a 59%.

Ahhhh, it's the little things.

redeeming.

So it won't improve my Biology grade any but I got my Religion Exam II back and scored a whopping 100%. It was actually 100% + 13 bonus points but he only recorded it as 100%.

I guess I'm NOT as dumb as my Biology Exam II made me feel...

Nothing else crazy to report other than Boy2 is sick (fever, puking, lots of sleepy time). Hoping & praying it doesn't take down the rest of us.

it's ok.

A 56%.

That's what I got on my Unit 2 Biology exam yesterday.

::sigh::


It's pretty much the grade I went in expecting, I really didn't understand this entire unit. During the exam I thought I was actually doing better, feeling ok about the questions. When the computer gave me my automated grade upon hitting 'submit', I sighed. Just as originally expected.

I could have studied longer - but it wouldn't have made much of a difference. I just couldn't comprehend the material. It was like reading an article in Greek and then taking an exam on it - it was still Greek, and I don't speak Greek. I even attended 2 tutoring sessions over it and I.Still.Could.Not.Speak.Greek (or unit 2 of cellular biology in this case).

Thankfully our lowest exam grade is dropped and replaced with an assignment we completed earlier this term. I received an 89% on it so I feel much better knowing that. Let's just hope exams 3 & 4 go better than a 56% !

Something unexpected happened this week though; I didn't over stress regarding this exam. No tears were shed, no cold sore appeared on my lip & I didn't let my anxiety get the better of me. I felt confident I wouldn't do well, knew there really wasn't a whole lot I could do about it and allowed the perfectionist in me to just let it go.

I received a 56% on an EXAM. Yes, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
But, the world kept spinning and moving forward and I'm fine.
I don't have to be perfect all the time, or even try to be.
I'm fine with that. Now that's progress.

blessed.

Happy 15th Birthday to the boy who changed my life.

On his birth day, I received the greatest gift.

The gift of being his Mom.

heard me cackling lately?

my blog is getting boring.
i'm considering shutting 'er down.

i don't have time like i once did to blog.
i wish i did as so much goes on in my days, and brain,
than in years' past.

in summary:
my life is good.

i am in love with my family.
i adore my friends.

my job rocks socks.
a 2nd family i have surely found.

my depression is still Gee-Ohh-Enn-E
gone.
what did i do? i prayed it away.
don't believe me? you don't have to.

fall term is going...
its not going to be another 4.0 term
and you know what? that's ok.

at work i've now buried far too many people
my own age, one that i even knew.
know what i've learned from that?
this earthly life is really, really short --
no time for a dress rehearsal.
this is it. live it up. or don't.
your choice.
i'll never apologize for being the life of the party.
i'll dance like its my last party.
the sad reality is, it just might be.
it's better to live, even with regrets
than to have never lived it up at all.

i find myself laughing a lot lately.
i don't take even one cackle for granted.