yesssssssss!!!!

A computer calculating error changed my Biology exam II grade from a 56% to a 59%.

Ahhhh, it's the little things.

redeeming.

So it won't improve my Biology grade any but I got my Religion Exam II back and scored a whopping 100%. It was actually 100% + 13 bonus points but he only recorded it as 100%.

I guess I'm NOT as dumb as my Biology Exam II made me feel...

Nothing else crazy to report other than Boy2 is sick (fever, puking, lots of sleepy time). Hoping & praying it doesn't take down the rest of us.

it's ok.

A 56%.

That's what I got on my Unit 2 Biology exam yesterday.

::sigh::


It's pretty much the grade I went in expecting, I really didn't understand this entire unit. During the exam I thought I was actually doing better, feeling ok about the questions. When the computer gave me my automated grade upon hitting 'submit', I sighed. Just as originally expected.

I could have studied longer - but it wouldn't have made much of a difference. I just couldn't comprehend the material. It was like reading an article in Greek and then taking an exam on it - it was still Greek, and I don't speak Greek. I even attended 2 tutoring sessions over it and I.Still.Could.Not.Speak.Greek (or unit 2 of cellular biology in this case).

Thankfully our lowest exam grade is dropped and replaced with an assignment we completed earlier this term. I received an 89% on it so I feel much better knowing that. Let's just hope exams 3 & 4 go better than a 56% !

Something unexpected happened this week though; I didn't over stress regarding this exam. No tears were shed, no cold sore appeared on my lip & I didn't let my anxiety get the better of me. I felt confident I wouldn't do well, knew there really wasn't a whole lot I could do about it and allowed the perfectionist in me to just let it go.

I received a 56% on an EXAM. Yes, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
But, the world kept spinning and moving forward and I'm fine.
I don't have to be perfect all the time, or even try to be.
I'm fine with that. Now that's progress.

blessed.

Happy 15th Birthday to the boy who changed my life.

On his birth day, I received the greatest gift.

The gift of being his Mom.

heard me cackling lately?

my blog is getting boring.
i'm considering shutting 'er down.

i don't have time like i once did to blog.
i wish i did as so much goes on in my days, and brain,
than in years' past.

in summary:
my life is good.

i am in love with my family.
i adore my friends.

my job rocks socks.
a 2nd family i have surely found.

my depression is still Gee-Ohh-Enn-E
gone.
what did i do? i prayed it away.
don't believe me? you don't have to.

fall term is going...
its not going to be another 4.0 term
and you know what? that's ok.

at work i've now buried far too many people
my own age, one that i even knew.
know what i've learned from that?
this earthly life is really, really short --
no time for a dress rehearsal.
this is it. live it up. or don't.
your choice.
i'll never apologize for being the life of the party.
i'll dance like its my last party.
the sad reality is, it just might be.
it's better to live, even with regrets
than to have never lived it up at all.

i find myself laughing a lot lately.
i don't take even one cackle for granted.

transformation.

The following Post Secret summarizes one of the best gifts I've given myself this year:

I feel it through & through ~ transforming me into a better, happier, even more outgoing (as if that's possible!), nicer person. I can't describe how heavy that burden of self-consciousness felt or how freeing it was to genuinely let it go.

amazing.

what a weekend i've had so far. simply amazing!! in so many facets. i've had so much fun. laughing, crying, hugging, appreciating. laughing at funny things & often some deeply pathetic shit too.

to my tight creep peep girls, i love you long time. madly, deeply & truly real. my life is enriched by your presence.

cheers! ::clink::

2 year olds shouldn't die.

Last night I worked a visitation for a 2 year old that died of leukemia. 2 year olds shouldn't die.

Her casket was just as ornate as a full size one, just scaled down so small. I'd seen infant caskets and they are different; small, simple, cloth covered boxes that 1 person can carry. This casket struck me in how solid it was, yet small, but it's still going to take 4 people to pall bear it vs. the normal 6-8 for an adult.

She looked absolutely beautiful. Perfect. Sleeping. Her hands still had the trademark infant dimples across her knuckles. I always feel sad when my children lose them, it's the truly last mark of infancy that remains. I immediately reached out and touched her beautiful little hands. I just had to.

What a reminder of how short life really can be. 'This isn't a dress rehearsal', Michelle told me just yesterday. This is it, the only shot you get to do it right, wrong or otherwise.

This weekend I'll be helping celebrate another life that was unfortunately cut far too short, a life that has touched so many: http://thelizlogelinfoundation.org/ I hope this fundraiser stretches far & wide and is a huge success, giving the foundation the ability to help others who face such tragedy. May God bless both these families.

though i fear...

“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”

“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.

And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher

...

I am woman.

Hear me roar.

I am woman.

I am exhausted.