soccer, forts & funks.

Disclaimer: I love & adore my 4 children. I feel incredibly blessed to have them. The day-to-day summer break while recovering from a pretty major surgery in late June plus an unexpected bout with 'da funk, however, has me feeling worn down. 3 boys who love to argue, bicker & fight plus a toddler who is uber-independent, defiant & runs really fast has left me exhausted, cranky and in need of a vacation.

Don't be fooled by this sweet little face.

Soccer is officially underway. The hour long practice last night on such a beautiful evening should have been wonderful. Jackson building on his soccer star qualities on the field, his younger brother rooting for him on the side. His mom holding his toddler sister on her hip, smiling & cheering.

Wake up Marissa - that shit only happens to other families. In fact, ALL the other families there last night. For me it was husband away on business, me chasing a 2 year old who prefers to continuously run into the road that runs adjacent to the soccer field and a 5 year old who listens to me about as well as Everly could hear during the first year of life. Doesn't every 2 year old act out of control like mine? Don't all 5 year olds hold complete disregard for their mothers? Apparently not. Just mine.

I did the only thing I know how to do; fake the funk, cry inside & breathe deeply on the outside. Someday my time will come that I can actually sit in a lawn chair and watch the child I came to see. I did whip out my camera and got Wilson & Everly to cooperate for a few minutes to pass the time. Not one picture of the kid who's time it was for my attention. There was no time for that. And yes, I know looking at the pictures you'd never be able to believe my stories - trust me when I say their horns retract at the first sight of a camera. Don't get me wrong, I love these kids and would lay down and die a painful death for any of these little shits but once in awhile I'd like to at least look like one of those moms.

You know those moms, the ones whose Lexus SUV is spotless inside & out. Her hair is always freshly cut & colored, her polished nails either perfectly manicured or recently filled and her makeup? Always on & flawless. Her clothes are stylish, trendy and pressed and her shoes actually coordinate and she manages her kids while wearing HEELS. Her voice is always upbeat, positive & encouraging, she always redirects rather than saying the dreaded "no" word, her patience is ever-flowing and she's always got enough time to not only be at every field trip, she helped organize the thing and made organic cupcakes with zucchini frosting in theme to celebrate the event. Her children, Skip & Skipper, would never yell or jump on the furniture and their house is tidy & neat, always.

I'm. not. one. of. those. moms.

I lied. I did get a picture of Jackson.
I was able to crop & zoom a picture of Wilson & Everly
that had Jackson in it way off in the distance.
It won't always be this way, right?

I'm one of us moms whose hair is in a ponytail. Sure, its usually washed hair, I'm not always that skanky. My outfit of choice is usually shockingly similar to the clothes I'm going to later work out in and my coordinating shoes start with the word "tennis". I'm running on a caffeine high and my car, well let's just say that more than one toy or art project has fallen out when the minivan door slides open. It is a pretty kick ass minivan but a minivan just the same. My nails are plain & short, I start my day usually in a pleasant mood and by the time I see people besides my immediate family, my nerves are quite possibly already shot for the day. Make up on a daily basis? What's that? I am not, however, one of those Walmart moms screaming at their kids with reckless abandon. Admittedly they scare the shit out of me. I make it to some school field trips but since the no-younger-siblings rule often stands in my way, I feel guilty on field trip days far more often than I'm in attendance of them. In my own defense, I do bake & decorate some kick ass cupcakes on occasion and I use real :gasp: SUGAR. I have 4 children, a large family by US standards, we don't fit into a standard booth at a restaurant (to the dismay of my mother) and we're too often too loud for the setting in which we're set. I do expect manners out of my kids, cleanliness and good grades. We're not hooligans for goodness sake.

If you are one of those moms, could you give one of us moms a more compassionate look next time? That look you gave me yesterday? It did more harm to your forehead wrinkles than it did to my psyche. Let me give you a number to my plastic surgeon, he does botox too. Who am I kidding, you probably have him on speed dial, duh. Go pop an "as needed" pill, you know you take them too.

I digress.... so soccer is underway. Funk be damned, I wish I could have enjoyed it a little more. Hell, I wish I was enjoying LIFE a little more. Mind you, I'm not miserable. But I sure ain't happy either.

After soccer (& football for B) practices, we played outside for a bit and tended to the garden. If anyone lives in the near vicinity of me, please stop over and take green peppers, cucumbers and tomatoes off my hands. I have them coming out my ears.

The boys set out to build the biggest living room fort yet last night and then they slept in it. Wilson spent too much energy being Wilson apparently because he fell asleep on the couch as it went into construction. I think it was bigger than my first home.

This morning Brenden & I went in to have our blood draws. He had one tube taken, I had four. He said he's now woozy and not sure if he can go to football practice, he lost so much blood. I told him to stop being a wussy with a p. I bought him Wendy's for lunch....to regain his strength.

My dad says I need to start focusing on what I have and finding happiness within it rather than wallowing in what I don't have. Makes sense. I think I need a vacation from all that I do have though. Or maybe I just need school to start. Yessssss, I do think that's it.

And to think more than once I've considered homeschooling. :snort: It's awesome but so obviously not me.