Saturday, August 23, 2008

struggling.

Sometimes He calms the storm

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place.

Lately I've been overwhelmed. I learned years ago through my own personal experience/hell that admitting you're hurting will be seen as a triumphant weakness to those who aren't your biggest fans.

Because of that experience, I sat silently defeated and regretting ever admitting out loud that I needed some support & a temporary shoulder to lean on. I saw first hand that some people actually rejoice in others' pain. Sick. I'm just a flawed human like everyone else.

I found myself pleading with God this afternoon to hear my prayer & help calm this storm. Or me. My problems are so small in comparison to others and I feel incredibly selfish when I pray for myself when others need my prayers & God's attention in such bigger ways.

But far too often lately, I'm feeling like I'm every body's nobody, a life with little purpose, basically invisible to so many people in my life. I pray often for a staircase out of that hell. In the meantime, could I humbly ask for a little hand in prayer? My one voice just doesn't seem to be enough right now.

"Protect me, O Lord. My boat is so small and your sea is so big."

9 comments:

Allison said...

You've got my prayers. You don't even have to ask.

Anonymous said...

I hear you loud and clear. And yes, you have my prayers.

Jen said...

((((HUGS)))) and prayers

Kate said...

I'm kind of a lurker (sorry) but you will certainly be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I don't really pray, so I will send love and hugs instead and hope that helps just a little.

Anonymous said...

Keep your chin up Mama - It's ok to be down in the dumps and it's ok to need to pray - just because someone else's problems are "bigger" than yours - it doesn't make yours any less important. We all have our own burdens in life, our own crosses to bear ~ don't discount your crummy feelings just cuz the guy next door has a bigger issue. We're here for you -
xoxo - darcie

Unknown said...

lots of hugs and prayers. we talked. you know where I am in this. and it's right there with you. more hugs. and many more prayers.

Anonymous said...

Sending many positive vibes out into the universe for you!

And big big hugs.

Tiffany said...

Many hugs, much love, and a little slap upside the head (done lovingly)