self restraint.

Ahhh, the joys of self restraint.

It's January. January means retail SALES! I buy my kids clothes, in bulk, in January and July, when retail sales are at their peak. If you weren't aware, that's when kids clothes are at their ultra-cheap of cheapest. I'm awesome at guessing next season's sizes and totally rock the casbah at bargain hunting. January is when I buy next years school/fall/winter clothes. screw that august rush at the mall, I'll have been done for 2 seasons by then, and spent a fraction of the money too.

Alas, this year will be different. I am determined to not overspend. Not overindulge. just. not. do. it.

Unfortunately, because of that new improved resolve, we will probably get screwed a titch come later this year. This time of year is also when I buy the kids next seasons winter coats. I'll save now but in the long run, I'll spend much more when I'm scrambling to find one next fall. [sigh]

It'll work out. it always does.

E already has her winter coat for next year. I got a coat off Ebay that I liked far less in person than I thought I would but only paid like $5 for it. It will serve as an awesome outside play coat. I also scored a red wool a-line coat for $12 in December and that will serve as her everyday coat. It's so beautiful it makes me want to cry..... but not cry as much as I might have with the original $50 price tag. So she's set.

Gymboree is having a mega sale right now. Oh how I could rack up my online cart with goodies.

No. I will not.

Children's Place is having a mega sale right now. Oh how I could rack up my online cart with goodies.

No. I will not.

And hey, Kohl's is having a sale too.

wait.

Kohl's is always having a sale.


The year of the budget.
The year I spend far less.
The year I take better care of me.
The year I try harder.
The year of the kept resolutions.

eh.

I'm determined to blog every day. But some days i just don't have anything exciting or witty to say. Today is one of those days.

I hit the gym with my trainer today. We did an entirely new workout and wow, it kicked my butt.

E seems on the mend and I feel much better about that.

I've already drank my 8 glasses of water today - anything I drink from here on out is just bonus.

I'm on track with my food and have been doing really well food-wise, making good choices, totally limiting my portions.

I've been exercising every day this week.

I think I can...
I think I can...
I wish the weight would fall off faster...
I think I can...
I think I can...

sicky sick sick.

The stomach flu, or whatever bug it was, went through our house with a vengeance last week.

E then developed a croupy cough. And a snot nose & eyes. And the puking never stopped for her.

Today, on day 11, I gave in and took her to the pediatrician. Ear infection (with tubes even!), viral something (she said her nose looked viral up in it, whatever that means) plus probably some sort of respiratory virus on top of all that. Yummy. A few days of the antibiotic for her ear and some benedryl to help dry up her slimy, snotty self and she should be on her way to better health.

I'm tired today. I couldn't exercise at the gym yesterday because as I was pulling into the gym parking lot, E funnel/projectile puked down the front of herself, her carseat and the floor of my van. I did a u-turn and went home. Barf.

The Biggest Loser dvd I did yesterday since I couldn't go to the gym kicked my ass. literally. My ass hurts today. I think I'd better go attempt to do it again today as its a good ass burn. I think I can feel my big ass shrinking & lifting with every ache.

I'm down another almost 2 pounds. I gained nothing over the holidays but I didn't lose either. I was feeling very stuck. This weight loss thing is going sooooo slow. I was happy to see a new number on the scale today. VERY happy. I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!!!!

I think I'll go take a nap before I exercise. If that ain't the story of my life....

recycling at its finest.

I think God is a treehugger. He, too, has jumped on the environmental bandwagon. I think he's recycling people from up there. Maybe he only recycles the really good ones.... ok, I'm kidding. I'm not being sacrilegious, just making a funny.

If God is a recycler of people, he recycled a little part of me into my niece. My own children have no striking resemblances to me (ok maybe my daughter a little). Yeah yeah, so I do look a lot like my sister who does look a lot like my mom but just roll with me on this one.

This is my 3 year old niece.

Looking at this pic is like stepping back in time 30 years. That's MY face. That's MY hair. I love it. I love her. I think God is doing an awesome job at recycling.

a good nights sleep changes everything.

Today is a new and better day. I slept all night last night, without interruptions. I woke up before everyone else (minus W who is always awake before the roosters but he was happily watching Noggin on his own) and spent an hour by myself in perfect solitude. bliss.

I found a photo folder online that I hadn't even noticed when I uploaded Christmas pics. This was the day after Christmas, at my sisters house.

My 4 kids & my 3 nieces, D1, D2 & D3:

The "man-child" & I:

My sister, my mom & my dad:

My J-Bird, so excited:

E & D3, BFFs for life:

My 'lil fashionista:

Dressed for his true destination & calling:

My BIL Dave doesn't usually look like a nutjob,
he's actually a good looking guy! :)
Showing off E's new boots:

Garth & E:

Who gives my baby a sucker & doesn't put a bib on her?!??!
grrrr:
Man-child B & D3:

Playing the ever-popular new crane game (big hit!!):

It wouldn't be a true family holiday if someone didn't fall asleep -
this year Garth won.

Jan. 5 blahs

blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah.

not a lot to say today. it has been an all around bad day that started around 3am and hasn't let up. sick, coughing baby followed by persistant 5 year old who refused to let me sleep a minute past 7 am without poking me in the face every 5 minutes asking for this, for that, for this again, etc....

the day continued on no different than it started.

its now 7:30 pm - have gotten nothing accomplished other than a shower today and a good, solid argument with garth.

i didn't emotionally overeat and still made good food choices but other than that its been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. :(

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I can't believe I'm doing this but if it will keep me on the straight & narrow, I'm going to, and someday it will be worth it.

This is me today, freshly showered, no makeup:
(hey it will make me look all the better in the 'after' pic)

I look at this picture and all I see is my gross belly button and abs that have been stretched beyond capacity 4 times over. Yuck!! This is not who I'll be 3 months, 6 months and a year+ from now. Of that I promise myself.

This is 7 lbs less than what I was when I began this journey on November 24, 2007
On that date I was just 2 pounds less than the heaviest weight I've ever been not pregnant.

Yesterday I joined a Biggest Loser competition amongst some girlfriends. I'm confident my slow-to-lose ass won't win but it will keep me honest, motivated and on track.

My trainer divulged to me yesterday that while yes, I do have weight to lose, I'm much further ahead of my game than I give myself credit for and I'm not nearly as "fat" as my head tells me I am. I think that's what I pay her to say though, know what I mean?

Here's to self accountability and getting my outsides to match my MILF insides, once and for all.

Post Secret.

(This is Thursday, Jan. 3rd's blog entry -- I wrote it last night and saved it but even publishing it today gives it yesterdays date).

I may have already blogged about this - I'm not sure. Either way, its worth mentioning -- or rementioning. :)

I'm a total Post Secret addict. Each Sunday new postcards are put up and I love sitting down on Sunday mornings with a cup of coffee and exploring the new ones.

http://www.postsecret.com/

I once submitted a secret and about died when I saw it posted. But there it was, for all to see, and I felt better for getting rid of it. I have 3 Post Secret books and I could never get enough. I imagine the story, pain, relief and joy behind each person's postcard submitted.

None of the following are mine but here are a few of my most favorite post secrets and each one means so much to me, in different ways. A lot of them have punched me in the gut with the realization that I could have written them. Others make me cry while others give me such hope. Some just make me say, "wow". Enjoy.

Angie & Jenny, this could be us.

Oh how I miss those days

and those problems.
I'm so happy to still have both of you in my life.

Truer words were never spoken than in the following 4 postcards:

just, "wow".

Sadly, I could have written the following 2 postcards far too often in my own life:

Dad, I did it!
I DID IT!!! I found one!
Thank you for setting the bar SO HIGH!!!

I think we all need this. I know I do.

Oh Grandma Fern, how I could have written this postcard.

Its been 10.5 years since you left us and

nothing in my life can make me tear up faster than missing you.

I named my daughter after you, that's how much you meant to me.
I'm so sorry for times I wanted to visit but my selfish life got in the way. I was so stupid to think you'd live forever.

I'd give all of my worldly possessions to have just 1 more day with you.
I have so much to tell you.
(Happy Birthday tomorrow, Grandma - you'd have been 81... I'd never forget)

One of my all-time favorite post secret postcards.
It give me chills each time I read it.
If true, I hope this person has finally found peace
within themselves & their new life
and so has the family they left behind.

My mantra for 2008.

Comment question of the day:

I know you're probably assuming I'm going to ask what your deepest secret is but, c'mon now, do you really think I'd expect to actually receive answers to a question like that? ;P~~~

I gave you one of my favorite websites, what's yours?

The flu has value.

If it were still 2007, I could say that today was my lowest weight of the year. The flu definitely has its perks. Since its now 2008, let's hope todays weight is the highest it will be all year. Or ever.

Everyone seems to be on the mend. Whew! 3 of the 4 resorted to puking and now 2 of the 4 have croupy coughs. Is it pathetic that I can't wait for school to start back up?! Heck, *I* need the routine!!!

Yesterdays tv was pathetic. Weight loss commercials abound. TV show after tv show of Big Medicine, weight loss this, weight loss that, Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers, NutriSystem... geez, it was enough to break my freakin' resolve right then. It was ALL day!!! Give it a rest, whoever is in charge of tv programming -- we get your point already.

My MIL bought E about (no exaggeration) 20 new outfits for Christmas -- all size 24 months - 2T. It took me 3 loads to wash it all yesterday. What 19 month old child needs that many clothes in addition to her already exploding closet? Mine, I guess. Sad thing is nothing was ugly - it was ALL adorable. Oddly, MIL must have really liked two particular pairs of Carters pajamas -- she bought one pair THREE TIMES and another pair TWICE. How do you wrap gifts and not notice that you wrapped the exact same item for the exact same person THREE FREAKIN' TIMES?! Gotta love the woman, she tries hard, means well and by golly, I know she loves us. If buying us clothes is any indication of her level of love, she loves us all A LOT.

I need to organize the two middle boys' clothes. Out with the old, in with the new. W will pretty much only wear a select 25% of his wardrobe anyway -- ahhhh, I love sensory issues. I just adore them. J will wear whatever you toss at him. He's so tall & lanky though that sleeves are always too short, pants are either too big in the waist or floods at the ankle. He's a tough one to buy for; slim this, slim that and most stores don't carry slims anymore -- thank you, fat America!! And then the oldest - Mr. Short Legs, who is the scaled down little version of my own father. Most of his jeans look ridiculous how long they are -- thank goodness its somewhat in style. I see a tailor in his near future for most, if not all, of his future pants purchases.

I saw The Sound of Music over the weekend for the first time ever. Ashamed to admit but I had no idea what the movie was even about until I sat down and watched it (I've also never seen Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, Breakfast At Tiffany's.... dang, I kind of suck). Anyway, The Sound of Music was actually really good! Well, other than the singing. They could have wrapped up that 4 hour movie in about a good hour & a half if it weren't for all the commercials and damn singing. Confirmed my belief that musicals shouldn't have music. The singing is dumb...even if some of the songs they sang was pretty catchy and dang, I already knew a lot of them - I had no idea they came from The Sound of Music movie. ::blushes:: I kind of want the soundtrack now. I like music, don't get me wrong, I just don't want it in my movies or theatre productions.

I'm going to start something new -- comment questions. If you read, participate! If I don't know you, that's ok, introduce yourself and jump right in!

Comment question of the day:
If you could be a color, what color would you be and why?

I'd be green. It's my favorite. It means so many yummy things; new life, earth friendly, fresh veggies, trees, leaves and its the color of my oldest sons eyes. :)

Happy New Year!

3 of the 4 kids are puking & I'm sick too. Our NYE plans got ditched and I was asleep by 10:45.

What a great way to kick off 2008!

B & I did watch hours upon hours of an Intervention marathon that was on yesterday though. I'll scare this kid away from ever doing drugs if it kills me -- they were some great episodes too.

Happy New Year! :)