Stupid is as stupid does.

I have a few people in my life that I sort of think of as stupid. Is that mean? Perhaps. But seriously, they are not by medical terms mentally challenged - they're just stupid. I can think of 3 right off the top of my head. And geez, think I'll name them right here? What do you think I am, stupid?! One is ignorant backwoods, one is a Debbie Downer wet blanket and the other is obsessively, competitively, just plain stupid. I heard this joke yesterday and actually thought of all 3 of them:

I have 4 dogs and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman....why else would I buy dog food??

I almost peed my pants after reading that. It seriously made my day.
Chances are good if you're reading this, I'm not talking about you.
Or am I?! ;)

Happy Tuesday! Now go out and try not be stupid today, ok?! :)