bubbling over.

I woke up this morning, in our guest bedroom, to the sounds of a toy making music on its own.

No one else was in the room, nor had been.

This is the same room my boys once shared that had an incident with a turned off computer that awoke one of them who then woke me who then discovered another son was at his bus stop, sleep walking, at 1am. I blogged about it near the very beginnings of my blog but trust me when I say it was truly a bizarre night and I was thankful to that computer that turned itself on, when it had been very much turned off.

I guess it would be appropriate that I'd be awoken by some crazy ghost infested toy - it felt a fitting end to a crazy night.

It was thunder storming, pretty much as it has been each day & night for the past month, E wouldn't sleep. I fell asleep hard from 11-2 but had crazy dreams. I put her to sleep in my bed with myself & G and I finally gave up to her flip flopping around 3:30.

From 3:30 to about 5, I flip flopped about the guest bed myself. I couldn't sleep. My mind was rambling 1000 miles a minute. Am I doing the right thing? This recovery is going to suck. I worked hard for this. I'm going to have a tube down my throat. I haven't went into this lightly - I want this! I've seen lipo on tv and ouch, that's not pretty. But wow, the results will be smashing.

I'd fall asleep for a few minutes, have more bizarre dreams, and wake up again to: Am I doing the right thing? This recovery is going to suck. I worked hard for this.... flip flop, flip flop, flip flop.

My emotions are bubbling over. First and foremost I feel excitement. And then I'm filled with anticipation, apprehension, and outright scared out of my mind. The 24 hour countdown has begun...