Determination Revisited.

Remember the winds 'o change I smelled brewing a few days ago? Nope, that's not summer sausage, girls!!

When I was 29 I went on a big kick that Garth & I were done having babies and it was time for me to kick my body back into shape -- look more like me and less like the wow-we're-breeders body I was sporting. Oh wait, I still am...

I was determined to be 130 lbs by my 30th birthday.
I'm 5 feet 6 inches tall. 130 is awesome.

Didn't happen. I got sidetracked somewhere along the way and veered off course. WAY off course. Had another baby even though we thought we were done, off course. More babies = even more breeders body. yikes!

So 4 years later, I'm still off course but I've got my handy dandy binoculars out and I'm at least pondering the search for the course I fell from.

I spent this entire year charting my weight - each Monday I wrote down what I weighed and dramatically sighed when it sure as hell didn't seem to be vanishing. I am happy to report that from New Years Day 2007 to today, I am officially 2 pounds lighter. Can I get an entire round of dramatic sighs & applause for that one?!

My determination is feeling renewed. My family life is back on track, I feel like I have my best friend back (hey Garth, that's YOU!) and things seem to be feeling ok for the first time in quite awhile in my head. I really want to be healthy. I really really want to be fit not fat. Anxiety and depression do a doozy on your head in that regard. Some say losing weight is all in your head. Guess what? I agree with them.

New goal for remainder of 2007: Reset brain. Enjoy the holidays. Eat & drink in moderation (my girls night out does not equal drinking in moderation by the way...). Get thee's ass back to the freakin' gym. Why don't I go? What the hell is wrong with me? It's my head. Somebody convince my head that I'm worth it. I'm working on it but wow, its tough.

Goal for 2008: Be 135 at my 35th birthday. Lose this weight that I've been carrying for far too long for far too many emotional reasons. Geez woman, you're going to be 35 next year. That's middle age for the life expectancies of most of my relatives. ONLY drinking in moderation -- I don't drink often and that seems part of the problem, like I've got some making up to do in the getting out of the house & celebrating departments -- binge drinking is not good for me. Why do I do it? I'm not 100% sure but I know its not healthy and having an uncle who died at 39 of cirrhosis of the liver should be the wake-up call I need....if that's not, how about the beer belly I appear to be sporting?! ugh. Moving on -- Keep my marriage right on track where it is now or make it even stronger & better.

I'm sure I'll come up with more goals but I really want to focus on the weight, my marriage and my health - both mental & physical. This is going to be my year, I just feel it!!! :)