Experimentation & Moms Dirty Little Secrets

Conversation yesterday with 13 year old B.

Me: Hey B, have you ever smoked?

B: :rolls eyes: Duh, you know I haven't.

Me: How would I know you haven't? Do any of your friends smoke?

B: No.

Me: What would you say if xxxx offered you a cigarette behind his house or something?

B: I'd say no.

Me: Would you? :raises eyebrows:

B: Yeah, I don't think smoking is cool. Why are you asking me this?

Me: I was just curious. I know you & your friends may start doing crazy stuff just to see what it's like and while experimentation can be really normal it can also be sort of dangerous.

B: When did you first smoke?

: dead silence :

: crickets chirping :

B: Um, Mom?

Me: (deciding honesty is probably best). The 5th grade, with Angie. Behind my house. With grandpa's cigarettes.

: B's eyes are huge :

B: FIFTH GRADE?!

Me: We got caught. It wasn't fun. We didn't do it again. I just want you to be prepared mentally that this stuff is going to happen someday and probably sooner rather than later and I want you to already know where you stand. Smoking isn't cool and it does kill people. If you have a puff off a cigarette, I won't kill you, but I want you to know that but I will be very, very disappointed if you do it more than once with your friends.

B: Um ok, but no one is smoking that i know of.

Me: Good! Are any of your friends having sex?

B: Mom! We're in the 7th grade! That'd be a no.

Me: Hey you'd be surprised. I was just curious.

B: Let me guess, you had SEX in the 5th grade too?

Me: :laughs: That'd be a big hell no!

B: Mom, if I have sex you'll be the first to know about it, ok?

: laughs and leaves the room :

He tells me everything (sometimes even too much) but somehow I doubt I'll be the FIRST person he tells after having sex the first time. This parenting thing is hard work.